i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
