So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
