im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
