i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
