Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
