I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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