what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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