Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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