mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
