We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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