Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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