i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
