Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize