We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
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Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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