You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
