Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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