More tranny stories later!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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