so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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