He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
