I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
