I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They have beer where we have blood.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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