dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
