:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin