wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dating After Heartbreak
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
All the doctor said was why