You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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