this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.