what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
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Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.