hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
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your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.