butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
