Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
