i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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