yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
