i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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