We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
