I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize