omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
