WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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