The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
