Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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