He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm like, not good at living.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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