My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
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I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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