the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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