she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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