we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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