Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
