do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
