You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
