Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
