i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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