Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize