dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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