He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
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Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
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Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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