At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
