A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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