youre lurking in front of me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
