New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize