It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
