DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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