You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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