Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Everclear isn't food dammit
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow