Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan

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  (530): It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan http://tfl.nu/v151
  Replies (29) Good night (5110) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5570) Bad night (2107)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.

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  (703): I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain. http://tfl.nu/pmdt
  Replies (20) Good night (5729) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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  (443): I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation http://tfl.nu/w8jm
  Replies (76) Good night (7648) Bad night (1283)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

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  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (1080) Bad night (10008)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

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  (201): normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek. http://tfl.nu/tra5
  Replies (20) Good night (5564) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

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  (336): he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater. http://tfl.nu/8ycg
  Replies (3) Good night (3348) Bad night (950)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.

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  (609): get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots. http://tfl.nu/a2ct
  Replies (4) Good night (1309) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.

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  (651): This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too. http://tfl.nu/gsqe
  Replies (4) Good night (971) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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  (419): Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli. http://tfl.nu/0eu4
  Replies (8) Good night (1027) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!

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  (613): She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved! http://tfl.nu/ke0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1760) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.

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  (910): 6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class. http://tfl.nu/7ju6
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.

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  (202): Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that. http://tfl.nu/gtv9
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….

  (716): View more from New York

  ...Then...

  (585): View more from New York

  Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one

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  (585): You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then……. (716): ...Then... (585): Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one http://tfl.nu/7kz2
  Replies (0) Good night (698) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.

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  (843): ...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us. http://tfl.nu/7j26
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (591)

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