Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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  (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80
  Replies (6) Good night (5136) Bad night (676)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.

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  (508): i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude. http://tfl.nu/zgqp
  Replies (87) Good night (26519) Bad night (4946)
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.

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  (818): I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head. http://tfl.nu/x66l
  Replies (20) Good night (7921) Bad night (1343)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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  (306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3
  Replies (24) Good night (10273) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  How did you break your hand eating pizza?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Boxes are hard to see rocks through.

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  (603): Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza. (1-603): How did you break your hand eating pizza? (603): Boxes are hard to see rocks through. http://tfl.nu/kquz
  Replies (7) Good night (2781) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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  (641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx
  Replies (13) Good night (1684) Bad night (850)
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  (619): View more from California

  Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.

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  (619): Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess. http://tfl.nu/w4br
  Replies (3) Good night (1591) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

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  (505): I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles. http://tfl.nu/rqwc
  Replies (4) Good night (1450) Bad night (899)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...

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  (412): Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation... http://tfl.nu/ehdf
  Replies (4) Good night (1493) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
  Replies (3) Good night (1057) Bad night (490)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?

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  (304): That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try. (304): Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone? http://tfl.nu/y8p7
  Replies (10) Good night (679) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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  (203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.

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  (219): the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life. http://tfl.nu/wlv5
  Replies (6) Good night (865) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch

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  (641): They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch http://tfl.nu/lzfv
  Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (164)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"

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  (604): "my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really" http://tfl.nu/pubh
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (139)

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