Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize