Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"

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(847): View more from Illinois

His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.

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(972): View more from Texas

Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(701): View more from North Dakota

Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.

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(727): View more from Florida

They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow

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