Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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