Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
