Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
