i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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