actually, I'm a sock model
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
