Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
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I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
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Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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