Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize