I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
